This year

At the beginning of this year, i was told that the best year of my life was about to unfold. As this year now comes to an end i can summarize it with some words...Hardworking, New, Changing, Knowledge, Hope, Help, Different, Expensive, Train, Quick, Closer, Wow, Trust, Developing, Strength, Choices, kindness, Love, Unusual & battle. After you've seen these words how do you sum up the year? Does any relate to you? After thinking about 2009...I think it's was a great year. I may of had some stress, struggles & extra things to pay for, But it turned out Great!(honest) When i heard that this year was going to be the best year of my life, I heard that message in church. That message didn't exactly mean that I'm gonna have exotic vacations, find true love, Become famous or Enjoy all holidays, Hek, i didn't enjoy most of my Christmas. But one really great thing happened, I learned more about my Lord, I became closer to him. Close enough to feel him, Close enough to tell you that these blogs are not fake, my imagination or just my personal opinion, it's true, & God is all REAL. I used to learn about our Jesus, but later i would always question if he was still real or if science & theory's were THE true facts...Now I'm sure, That he's real. This upcoming year, i plan to get closer & do more for God. I wanna hear his voice!!! That's a hek of a resolution but I know it's possible. With God my Struggling, stressful 2009 year was a great, wonderful year after all, But for 2010 It's going to be even better, who knows maybe less stressful. God never wants us to be stressed @ all, he wants us to call on him & be positive in our problems so we don't be stressed. I'm gonna work on that to, Because who needs to feel that way, cry or have extra pimples(ew), i mean if you want sympathy no one will ever give it to you! God is the only one who cares for you & want to fill you up with what you lack. This year many people including me & my close family changed. I can remember when me & My cousin Ryan were worried about these people not changing & they continue to do wrong, but look what happen now! This year was great, I improved, everyone i know improved. There's always room for more improvement. 2010 will be an improvement! Positivity, Action, Change, God!
I wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEARS! & i hope that all your New Years resolutions come true & HAPPEN! , because it gets more possible EVERY year ^.^

The lord is awsome

In many different ways he is wonderful.
In many different ways he CAN fulfill.
For many different disasters, he causes a blossom
When you sum him up...
He is awesome!
He cares for your every little need
He wants YOU to succeed,
even EXCEED.
When you are envied
He can give YOU the lead!
When love is what you need
Your heart, he can overfeed.
He loves you when you push him a way,
He loves you when you disobey
He still loves you when you forget him today.
isn't that quiet odd?
How awesome is our god?
He created Earth & sky
Every plant,
Every animal that crawl, hop, swim & fly. (u name it)
He doesn't just let us just live life then die,
He lets us learn, right & wrong
& how to see like HIS eyes.
Have us to help others fly.
Have them to be happy, strong & alive.
When you help someone it's an awesome feeling. (For you & them)
Just like the God we are seeing!
We see he's loving, We see he's caring, We see he's merciful, We see he's beautiful
We see he's Awesome!

The gala

The Gala was awesome! I never pictured Hope NYC to look like a beautiful hall. But when i walked in, it blew me away, i didn't believe it! It seriously looked a beautiful hall or a fancy restaurant. There were beautiful chandeliers, snowflakes, lights & Christmas trees, out of all the times the church transformed...this was the biggest transformation. I saw many people transformed too. Everyone looked so beautiful, glittery, shiny(hair lol) and dazzling. I hurried up to put my coat away, cuz it clashed with my dress lol.... & i rushed back to my table. As i squeezed my self back, i see beautiful tables, I saw a big Brooklyn bridge with light cars and little people( it won 1rst prize), i see a table with candles & flowers, One with a huge, tall floral center piece (wow!) another with a chocolate fountain & marshmallows, & one with a lot of silver. The table i sat at was nice too, idk if it was in the contest but it was gorgeous. When i finally got to my seat i see Julia next to it, i was shocked and happy to see her (idky lol) She looked pretty in her outfit, & we had lots of catching to do lol. The first beautiful dress i saw was Keisha. She looked like a real princess. I saw Ricky, Amos and Ryo, they all looked great too with their suits, especially with the bow ties(kinda funny lol) Pastor Sharon looked dazzling in her shiny beaded brown dress...& yes a pastor could be dazzling! lol. The food was delicious, & the games were funny, & we took pictures. Pastor Curt played a game with us called lets make a deal, where we chances to win money or nice gift. Most people chose a gift box instead of money in the envelope, they ended up wit 5 dollars or a sorry note lol nobody won 100 dllrs, We took professional pix, found out the winner of a table contest & had a raffle. There was a small game of bingo(Melanies request) me, Arti & Amos played on my board, using marshmellows lol... After wards they were playing Parang. Whats parang you asked? Parang is a type of music with Caribbean and Latin American cultural influences. The word is derived from the Spanish word parranda, meaning 'merry-making' or 'a group of serenaders' and etc etc, Me, Arti, Sophie, Amos, and Tanaya went up to dance, before we had to go home. We had a blast, then Ryan came up to dance with Arti, i was shocked! Ryan was dancing! ( tell everyone! lol)Rickey was there too & he had his wacky moves lol...This was a memorable night, I don't think i will forget it. Everyone had a good time, Everyone looked great, & it all happened, Thanks to Jesus, & Thanks to him for uniting us to create Hope NYC.

Is a diamond all i need?

I may love my diamond and my pearl,
but can it save me from this world?
Can it ever protect me
or revive when they reject me?
Can they ever sit and listen, other than sparkle and glisten?
They are not going to do anything and neither will i
if i stay here to rely.
They can't solve a problem
but sure can cause them.
How can you get back on track when you're being carried away.
How to survive tomorrow and today.
Talk to the one who created all the earth and the diamonds.
Seek for the one who can multiply bread by the thousands!
Materials can do you harm,
You are just easily fooled by the look of its charm.
You are convinced that you need nothing else when you have this jewel.
But consequences are cruel.
The lord watches over his foot stool. (the earth)
Reach out to this one of righteousness!
call the name of the one who can satisfy you endless.
The name to call is Jesus.
He wants to give you everything you would like and more than that.
He gives you happiness
eternal and limitless.
Between you and the diamond,
You are the richest!

He's is watching you, and he is with you through thick and through thin.
A diamond is not your best friend, They were lyin.
(when they said that)

Music used to be something that i liked....when...
-It had a good beat
-It was the popular new song out
-It was what my group of friends were into

But now... It's all trash!!!! I never used to think about the meaning, i used to like it by not what is says but how it sounds. Now I'm looking for a true meaning. Now im looking for something new, Im looking for something not stupid. Love is so overrated like seriously! Love is not the only thing in life you know...sex may be good to everyone but it's not the only best feeling in the world. New songs to me are kinda errrr to me...i mean "LOL smiley face"? what the hek is that one about?... its meaningless to me.
i've givin it up.... This is just my opinion, I'm not telling you to stop listening to what you like... Music & me are not over. Now every time i put on those headphone or open i tunes on my computer, it's not for trash anymore...i have something with meaning to listen too. Something good on my play list. The songs for my lord. They have the right meaning, different words, meaningful words that last forever. There are also some that have great beats. Songs about god wouldn't sound too good, they never used to sound interesting at all to me....but when you listen to certain ones, you know... the ones with a beat you desire Its the greatest thing you'vr ever heard. It can also inspire you to play music...something everyone wishes they can do. Today's music doesn't make you want to do anything but sit there for hours with headphones stuck in your ears. It doesn't talk about things you personally can relate too...its only about the lovers problem & dancing with hot girls.... that music ain't so hot at all. now next time when i hear something, i don't want just mumbo jumbo in my ear, I want truth & power...something i don't even mind singing to myself....What if you catch your self singing "i kissed a girl" or "I like it rough"(by GaGa) Yes! while you are singing that you are actually saying it....so the chances are if you're a girl singing that, your gonna kiss a girl in future or be in a sexual position...singing after a song has happen before....You may think you're smart but life changes and gets you there somehow! its a mysterious way...But you know your mouth a weapon it self, your simple words will take you where you will go in life, your mouth is power & it can change something! believe it or not...i witness and experienced this enough to tell you this...not lying..true...not lying ..TRUE! lol so yeah, WATCH YOUR MOUTH! listen with you ears and listen to words, speak carefully ask me questions or leave comments if you have any lol
.....

Yesterday was freezing! confusing! demanding!...i was so close to not going to church, because i knew i would have to take the train the brick cold weather. The train was possibly local too. I thought it would of been too much trouble... then a thought came to me, insisting that i SHOULD go to church. I told my parents my minds made up & i didn't care; I was going! My dad had to drive his friend to the airport(he missed church)....he was starting to get annoying because he really almost kept back our Sunday & it caused arguments( i had a headache). Also my mom was insisting i shouldn't go in the cold. I really hate it when the enemy uses adults & parents to keep a determined child of god away from church. He can make a christian person care less about our wonderful god...The one who always & will always matter. We should always care about him...like seriously!
She was trying to drag me away... she also wanted me to come back to her church in the Bronx..which 1rst of all, i don't like the Bronx, 2nd of all, i wasn't really getting anything from that church not even the presence of the holy spirit....I never knew about that or about some special language called speaking in tongues. I never heard of them in my life! Me and my cousin Ryan (long ago) used to talk on the phone or talk on aim. He mentions that he feels the presence of Jesus....i never did... i couldn't even follow of what he was talking about. I kinda had a feeling he was bragging & i felt bad... i didn't even like talking to him at that time ( just a faze ryo) because he was making me feel like an atheist( i did love god), but really; i didn't know anything i was lost. I couldn't follow him. When i think of this, i can't believe where i am now.... That Sunday of church that i almost missed! it really made a difference, i feel more closer to god. I use to not care about going to church, I'd try to avoid it sometimes, but i wanna go now. Ever since i switched churches and went to HOPE NYC. I feel like there's always a big blessing & another step towards my journey waiting for me. My journey is to get closer to my Lord. I can't believe how far i was...i can't believe i never felt his presence on me...now i do feel it & I'm feeling it stronger as my determination goes on. I can finally talk to my cousin about Jesus, & we can actually feel the same thing. Our convos are now happy and I'm not mad at him. There's one thing about us that's different though....During our convos, he would sometimes say that the holy spirit told him something.... I would gladly listen but i wish the spirit would tell me something... Hopefully as i keep walking my journey i will hear the voice of God and speak the heavenly language...I'm not there now but I'm getting there....close=]

Other ways i changed...i used to dislike christian music but it's all i listen too now I used to not want to play the piano and i quit my lessons=[ but i want to start playing now. God is good =] bringing out talents in me

December

December is a month of glamor. It's a month of joy. It's a month of importance... It leaves me with an excitement just thinking about it. If it's not my birthday, It's Christmas. If it's not those things it's the Christmas breaks we get from school & families get together during the holiday. A very exciting, fun part is picking & buying your dearest friends and families presents(and charity). My list gets longer every year, but i don't mind it at all. Giving a person a gift and seeing their expression means a lot to me. It really seems more fun to give than to get, and I'm not just saying that because its the right way to feel. I actually like it more than getting, but getting is nice too ^.^ A month of glamor. I can't think of a time where i dressed up a lot... than in December, Heck i actually have A GOOD REASON to dress up. Instead of just appearing beautiful & dressing up for occasions that are not for you. I have my birthday, & I'm expecting fun and generosity this day, (they wanna make me a cake ^.^) especially since it's my last year being around these cool people @ school I've come to know. I also get to celebrate with my twin!!! My twin is awesome, Were into mostly the same things, we get the same thoughts it happens quite plentiful actually idky, She's super nice, super smart & a wonderful friend. But not to go off topic=]... In Dec i get to dress up for me on a fun day & i get to dress up and look nice for Christmas too. Christmas is one of the most important days in the whole year. The birth of our wonderful, amazing Jesus Christ(in Bethlehem lol) and it's a day where everyone puts their sour attitude away and be generous.Our savior was BORN! That's a wonderful life changing event, & I'm thankful for Christmas,& for only this reason! He didn't want us to suffer death & perish, he saved us all from that, so that we(humans, his creation) can LIVE , even up to today, Today we live, complain a lot & reject him but he still saved us...he is a/the god of life...& forgiveness. There's a Christmas Gala in our church, Hope nyc. An extra reason to be glamorous. Our church will be a winter wonder land, We get



photography, people get to see an amazing dance(entertainment) a couple contest, games & prizes, good food & tons of fun and joy. December is a month like no other. It's a month for, me you, twin^.^, & Jesus to be completely happy about.

crash

Why is everything crashing down?
We had something!
such a beautiful sound.
a beautiful sound to the ears of god.
now it's just a horrible screech,
wrong goals have been reached.
it's nothing about what god has teach
Suddenly wrong is right!
that bond is strictly tight.
There's no need to fight.
like i said...wrong is right.
Good is pined down
Evil is winning this round.
How sad.
Giving in victories as they are piled.
Don't you remember that you are god's child?
Right now i feel left alone!
stuck in boredom & lonesome like a still stone.
With no true friends by my side.
It's like my enthusiasm for people had just died.
I feel awful.
When you try to be there and lift me.
It makes me feel worse
not better.
Why are we crumbling?
Whats with the tumbling?
Why did we go down
when we were so high up
The future was bright,
Great ideas took flight.
Now we have to settle for just anything?
What a different song you sing.
Where was the power that we all had together.
I thought it was forever.
Please no more drama
It's making me crash down
Things look and feel bleak
Like a depression,
where's the hope to seek?
Tears run town my cheek.
I can't believe it would come to this....
My own problems and you simply worry me...
It's hard not to care.
Also feeling like hope isn't there.

Excitied

I feel a joy as things crumble down.
I sense interference as i try to listen to a crying sound.
A good feeling races towards me, but it hasn't yet arrived
But it has something to do with god
The reason why i survived.
I am excited
for what god has in store.
I am sure its not the end
THERE IS MORE!
After all of this occurring
Great things even miracles are approaching!
I can feel it now
It's running AFTER us
We are going to have it! our father will allow!
It's racing fast
taking off with speed
what you have now is like a growing seed.
Your flower is going to bloom
meaning you get
Amazement like boom!
I wasn't too happy with my test,
I'm sometimes under stress
A relative may have died.
And to talk to my sister, i have tried!
I know i have failed and
I'm worried for troubles ones who had bailed.
But i am excited!!!
Because it's(god/good things) soaring my way
and yes I'm talking about 11/24/09 TODAY!
I know I'm about to get something amazing & life changing
I'm standing here to catch it!
never to miss a great hit.
I'm so excited
because here comes the blessing.
YOU ARE FINALLY GOING TO SEE SOMETHING!(difference)
A real something!

Society tells me

Society taught me that being generous is a waste of time
It says that disrespect is true & makes us look good
It has spoken that parents should be hated...
And we should just take their food & money, & just go on our way.
Society says i should be hated because I'm not the same race as everyone else.
It says i should be a perfectionist about my self & body.
I must have the right hair, right face, right neck, right look.
It's required for me to wear make up & use things that I'm not born with.
like perfect face features, perfect lashes, perfect skin tones.
Tight clothes are required, the less clothes, the better.
Looks are everything!
Society tells me that partying is the ultimate source of joy and i must have one...
even though its expensive & attracts problems.... i still must have it, and throw plenty.
Society would have it's most interest in me if i show no sign of pureness,
no sign of appreciation, no true affection for anything.
It's good to not trouble myself,
but good to give others trouble, its good to use them.
Society taught me numerous times that i have to put education as the least important
& it gets me no where.
It made several laws stating that i must spend my money on the latest gadget out.
It's says here that i must buy things, even when i don't need them.
I must love the new song out!
even if the message is bad, i must sing it like i know it.
It basically tells me to destroy my face, my world, my true emotions and the way my soul is...and whats left of me
It must be gone, and i cant get to it anymore. I am now ruder, less knowledgeable and better looking.
and it's a good thing!
It has told me myself is ugly, unimportant and worth nothing.

That's society..
but i believe in GOD!
who created A Society before it CHANGED.... on it's own...to this
He tells me I'm beautiful & i don't have to act like someone else.
He repairs my every damage & provides more than comfort.
He says that those perfect body features and outer appearance mean not one thing to him!
I just have to be human & myself to experience what i really need in life
& you can get that from God him self.
God says not to follow society but to follow him.
All you have to do is follow.... no changing, no buying anything. Take a burden off your life and be you!
God is perfect, nice, awesome, generous, smart, beautiful, wonderful, amazing, great, Holy & much more....I rather to try to impress him than the people who will bring me down.

Stress juggling

sigh* i've got so much ideas, so much thoughts , many decision and not one clue of answer
There are many thing i want to start, but i just been putting them off for reasons or no reasons. I've got so much to do and time is just going away from me, one minute i see 3 0 clock and then i see 6 0 clock, its goin to fast and my days seem short. i have deadlines, scholarships, projects, and excitements coming up. I don't exactly have seinor-ritus but i have birthday itus and christmas gala-itus. For those things i get to be dressed up, treated nicely and get to have fun. It also gives me another reason to thank the Lord. Thank the lord for living an extra year and thank him for a great celebration of his birthday. Those two are just my favorite celebrations of the year. I also like to give presents to my close good friends =] It's sad after high school i won't see these/most of people any more. There were good times had and to be had. Luckily i still have awesome people in my life, and i get to keep them! yay lol my amazing cousins and my pastor/friend/ dance instructor, Sharon, they have awesome personalities and they are so close to god. It's so great. I'm so thankful for that. And also my new friend Julia who i met through them. She's awsome! , helpful and shes going through the same things as me, what a shock lol , its cool to have someone with the same point of view as you. At least through these struggles i have them to cheer me up. Mostly we all pray over the phone, and after that i feel like all my stress/ all my assignments that I WAS juggling are just gone! And just in a few words. They just completely vanish. The stress comes back every day or two but it's my job to kick it back where it came from and take my time and have a lovely dress lol. Im starting to sew so i have to make sure its all perfect =]. Some times i get lazy and i hate that! and i cant afford it no more. But i have to shake it off and continue working because every project, scholarship, etcetc is one step to my long term goal and if that's good then I'm going to have a pretty suite life 8-) ...compared to now....or a VERY suite life . That's what i aim for. When ever you have stress and plenty to do, it's good to have people to go through it with you

Surprise visit

The time is defiantly coming
I can feel it almost happening
It gives me an even better reason for celebrating and clapping.
His visit is coming soon
You'd better brace!
Feeling his short presence was just a little taste.
When he comes down
some will frown
When he comes down
the trumpets will sound
When he shows
They will realize that
They've been focusing on wrong
While some may sing a song=]
When he comes through the opened sky
I want to say hi
And some will deny.
deny that they've done bad.
Knowing they've never listened and done right from the start!
Most people are not going to feel so smart.
When he comes to save us once again
There will nobody this time to offend.
Seriously, this is a good thing.
Truth never lying
Because its a promise
from an excellent promise keeper
Who always kept his word
and his love for YOU can be much deeper.
Deeper than anyone you know
Just for you he can show.
Don't close the door on him
open and let him visit.
and a miracle will rush in.
Brace yourself for when he may appear
Certain people may soon disappear
to place of no fear.
Don't you wanna be there?
Time is going
days are shortened/faster
His visit not a specific time
to know, you don't have to be wise
but it is a surprise

Why not?

He lived for you
Why not live for him?
He died for you
Why not die knowing him?
He saved your life
Why not save others!?
He cared for you
Why not care for him?
He rose up from the grave
Now can you raise up your head? =]
He is your close friend.
Why can't you be a friend?
He wants to invite you to his Mighty Kingdom
You should want to invite people into his church, his house
He wants you to appreciate life
Like you appreciate your car.
He is rooting for you!
Like you root for the Yankees.
He will never turn on you
Like WE turn on him.
Sometimes we do the opposite from him,
But
He can forgive you!
Why not ask him?

Everyday sounds

" What did you say?
HOW OLD ARE YOU AGAIN?
You tricked me! liar!
What kind of song is playing right now?
Didn't i tell you to take the headphones off?
I can't hear you!!!
Lets see the takeout menu!
Were running late!
Your taking too long with make up
Wow! you actually get home cooked meals!??
I live to be a model!
Wait what!
Wheres my credit card?
Ha ha you have swine flu!
She's always on the phone!
Do you EVER? drink water??
So!?
She/he's TOO YOUNG!
Durga durga..
Let her cry!
You have a bacon egg and cheese everyday!??
I sent 1906 text messages today!
What's the point of this?
You have to do it like THIS!
Hello!? What doughnut do you want!??
I always buy a Monster and drink fruit juice everyday!???
COUGH* Smoker!
What's the point of life?
Oh my goodness I'm so tired!!!!!!!!
Did you even start on college apps yet?
I'm getting drafted for war!
Do you want Chinese?
I'M TIRED ALREADY!
I like this!
f****!
Your so******* and *****
I don't have my green card lets face it!
They're growing up so fast!
Can you get it for me please!?
Urgh lets drive there!
I failed gym!
Why trust Jesus??? try other gods! Jesus happened 2000 years ago, you mean to tell me he exist?
Why can't you do this!
let me tell you what happened...she said that she.....
Americans....
I'm going to buy something to eat after school...yeah again
HOW SHOULD I DO MY NAILS!
I think it's a stupid song!
I'm going to be a vegetarian, i can be thinner, i have to give up meat and some of my favorite foods.
God didn't do this,
you did it yourself!
She/ he/ I'm getting fat and had put on more weight!!!
She used to be nice and skinny like a model but she get fat now!
Too much soda.
I'm not hungry.0--< I don't want this class because its boring
I wanna sleep!
There's no liquor at the prom!
sorry i don't have money to buy you a gift
I don't want to go to church!
HONEY spend time with me=[
I hate waking up early!
I wish it was over
WHEN IS VACATION?!
I can always get lazier eye surgery.
Urgh You sound religious again!
Yo man we gotta chill!
I haven't heard any new songs i like lately.
WERE GOING TO MC DONALDS.
I took a nap in class again.
Are you gonna see this movie?
I need glasses now! 0-0
I'm too fat, i need to go on a diet!
Urgh this guy wants to have sex with me!
Come on! stop cutting class or your gonna fail!
Where is MY present?
She's always texting!
Were in a recession!
Theyre always on their phones and computers, they cant talk to me.
Your racist!
She lookin ugly!
I WANNA GO TO THE PARTY = - D
Stuffing our faces with junk food!
I don't know about you but I did great!
I don't like this class because the teacher is boring and the room is dull, i'm gonna switch
My mom cooks like two times a year!
MAN YOUR SO LAZY!
You suck!
I DIDN'T STUDY!
It's boring!
Are you seriously gonna do that again?
I WANNA WALK!
You never talk to me when i see you!
The war is happening in this country...
Lets tek a beer!
He spends $ on pills
My grandmother only cooks.
You don't need make up! your pretty!
she isn't very smart is she?
Always on the computer ignoring me!
I don't wanna work!
Wasting paper
Global warming/climate change!
Oh my God!
You've only known him in a week how do you like him??
I'm joining in the navy
I DON'T WANNA GO DOWN THE HALL ITS TOO FAR FOR ME!!!
No you cant do that!
She spent that money to do her eyes!
Littering
Were gonna die in 2012.
I heard SHOOTING in my area like a day ago!
i used too..
I love him and i don't care!
I wanna watch "Drag me to hell"
we just want to live our lives and have fun!
You cant do this!
YOU LOOK SEXY!
She said that
He said this
I want big black glasses and the checkered pants
I forgot what i said
You look....
I CANT LIVE WITHOUT MAKE UP!
You spent nearly 1000 dollars on a bag??
He's a hypocrite
It never happens!
I don't care!
I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
These are the sounds i hear and witness. Some of these quotes are mine and some of them are from random people i see in stores or the street. And some are from my cousins & friends. This is society so far...do you like it? how does it seem to you? Is it declining down or going up in the right path? All of this stuff happens, what will happen with this world if it continues to happen?

tumbled and pulled

Said my prayers,
When to bed
protect me i said
Suddenly i wake up in the night
My sleepiness glided away from my reach.
I was just alone and awake
Some trouble began to bake.
all of a sudden i was at tug a war with my own speech.
Some annoying decision buzzed in my head
all the noise i was getting enough and fed
I was being tugged left to right
in the middle of the night.
I was being pulled but i didn't like it
grabbed to do one thing but grabbed to do the other
I didn't like it one bit
then i suddenly fell
to a sleepy spell
i had weird weird dreams
different things
all of a sudden something steams!
It was my arm
stretched out and turned
i reached for the light and then i got burned
The light was not so bright
I received tears of pain and fright
i saw a not so friendly face on my ceiling
what was it?
i was puzzling
then some strangely stranger
took of the remainder.
he would not stop pulling me
his grip wouldn't get weakly
He seem to be begging me.
Begging me to the follow his leadership
begging me to think he can actually be trusted
I thought of him more as lusted
and he reached for my grip
All this along with strange music
Everything was just wrong and sick
Along with everything i hear a creepy tick
This dream was not happening properly
What the heck happened with me?
i had a dream that i gave in to the pull
pull of bad things
Why would i do that?
Why would i get carried away
i was like a declining brae
that's crazy
that terrible
that's unbearable
Why was i tumbled
why i rolled?
Why was i crumbed
Why did i feel so cold?
I just wanted a safe night of sleep?
Why is this happening why did this happen?
I don't want to be forced anymore
Was something telling me to loose faith?
Was something telling me i was bait?
i know my poem and my dreams were so bad and mumbled
i don't know why i felt hopeless and crumbled...

You have a powerful tool!

Do you feel defenseless?
Are you tired of being stuck down with offense?
Are you tired of being pin down with such nonsense?
Are you fed up living in fear???
You curl yourself waiting for brightness of day?
waiting for all to vanish away.
Are you the one taking something that you don't deserve?
Or perhaps stuck with some one & force to serve?
well I desperately want to tell you!
i wanna confess what you need to hear
You don't have to take it...
You don't need to enjoy the dizziness
and take the stress
You don't need to go through all this pain (life is offering you)
You don't need to fear or live for the strain
You have a POWERFUL TOOL!
Yes you!
don't have to be a super hero
but the key to your prison was inside of you
Free your self.....today
fly away
Because all you need to do is PRAY.
Your own mouth and words can save you
believe me or not but this is true
Call it hopeless, say it's not.
But all the power is in every little thought
The power is inside of you
You just have to let it out
If you have to, then shout!
Conflicts...
It thought it can take me (or you) over
but WE have OUR savior!
i had my fears
Sometimes i was even scared to move
I was surrounded by visions and panic
My thoughts went out of control
Day after day
this was on a role
But yesterday and Now!
i prayed to my savior
and he did save me!
i was finally free
I didn't think i can escape
This problem was like a repeating tape!
I am out
I should be 100 percent free today
Because i learned my lesson
When need something and have troubles!
Call on Jesus
but also
I won't curl, and cry & take it like a fool!
No! I will use my powerful tool!



I pray for all my Facebook friends.....let The/our savior come into your lives to prove hes REALly helpful and caring, and let your problems just go away! Thanks for our powerful tool!

Show me the way

Show me the way,
I'm stuck in a thought.
Show me where to go
from the battle I've fought
Im helpless, alone.
Don't know what to do on my own,
broken,
on the verge of being crushed,
When i think to talk,
i get hushed.
Lord tell me what to do!
Show me a vision
take me there
help me make a decision!
This path is getting too foggy for me
where will i be?
I don't know what to do?
Help me see!
I'm in need of your presence.
Time is of the essence,
Speed is of the essence.
I remember when you give me ideas I love it!
I remember when you pulled me from those horrible problems
I'm above it!
Lord pull me out of this ditch of decisions!
Place me in the niche of my future visions.
Please avoid me the roads
where there is thorns and horns
Please make me pick the one with new faith born.
I want to help people get faith and take more my self
Another quest is to be and get closer with the best!
I need you
I need you helplessly
I want to run into your arms and be with you all day
But can you show me the way?

Stuffed in a bag?

Seriously don't think I'm crazy, offensive, outspoken or rude but shouldn't we spread the gospel around?
Shouldn't we make life living with God look like the most INTERESTING thing ever, when it really is?
Shouldn't we make an effort to do something?? Like if you started a club, poster, video or a dance, shouldn't we make the effort to finish it? If you prayed to God for something & got it, shouldn't you Thank him, & take the time to Appreciate him, instead of just running away with your gift, pretending like you don't know him. Like he didn't do you that favor... For those who are committed to him? Why do we do this?? It's like we STUFF HIM IN A BAG & zip him up & go somewhere & talk to our friends(like they do anything much?). I am a friend, who would ask about Him.

How are you & God doing?

Why don't we ever take him around & share the most good & precious value to people?, Why do we hide him most of the time? Why don't we ever make him a big deal when he really is? Why do we always zip him back up again? We might only take him to church & forget him once we walk out. While distraction & temptation strikes us, its our chance to run from him. When we're trying to finish a dance, play or a video, we easily let/want laziness to overrule us,
I'm wondering & just simply asking so many questions but its just so mysterious & weird to me. I may of done it before, but i try not to do it, i don't want to do it, because i make him the biggest deal ever. He created me & He can end me, He can give me a gift & He can take it back, He gave me trees, food, water, air, rain & enough sun & shade so i won't have a dark, dirty, dooming place like a dry dessert to suffer.
He does all while loving me. He leads me into the right path, literally, He cares which road i choose and i appreciate that alot. the wrong road can just do you the harm and it will really suck for you sooner of later. So why forget him, Why stuff him and put him away?

Some destruction of our world

God gave us a world

and his plans got so twirled
because we are causing too much damage
People are just taking advantage
All of this for our little needs
what ever happened to those precious seeds?
Seeds for the stem that would turn into a tree
God did teach how to grow seeds and begin new life
Never with the destruction, downfall and strife
He taught us to give life and obey
never take kill others & take it away!
He wants us to care
but instead people dare!
They can destroy a whole forest the bad ways they do,
just to make oils and bottles of shampoo.
Its like the lungs of our planet
20 percent of our oxygen
& animals dying
im not laughing
Other bad things are happening
letting it happen away
still happening today .
God is the holder of our Earth
and in his eyes
Everything we are worth!

My inspiration

A purpose

I was meant to do this
and i wont quit
i will go and fight
i will do it!
I was so ready to give up
but the powers been brought back
patience is what i lack
i will do this mission for him
my future will look bright and not dim
because i followed everything
and at the side i praise and sing
And gain the strength to continue,
to fight and defend
as it gets closer to the end.
There is nothing to worry
i only have to look forth to victory!
Me and him will be victorious
because he is righteous
Because my life is no longer dull
I will be living a miracle
It will fail not
I will take my spot
Fulfill
and succeed still
I have a purpose
and i will do my job properly
because he gave it to me!

Stand strong

God wants me and you
to be true and
Stand strong!
I know
it's been long
and you had enough!
and life is just so tough!
especially when you get these feeling in life
that don't really matter
your worrying about beauty and you getting fatter
You let little things knock you down
You should be focused on whats around
And what is coming
someone great and someone stunning
He is on his way
There is no time to crumble and lay
like your not okay
Its time to plant your feet firm
To keep this relationship long term
as you confirm.
Stand strong
and carry on
and do not fall down
and be bound.
Stand tall
above all
And be strongly,
for god has taught this lesson to me.
As i have been away from his house.
As laziness tries to take me in.
As temptation tries to act like its not a sin.
As i feel like i cant carry on.
I will stand strong!

This love

Is this love right or is it wrong
Is it getting weak or getting strong?
I love you
but do i want freedom?, i don have a clue
you are honestly the best
that's so obvious to express
mabye i should just stick around for a while
Your number i dial
But don't get to cozy
and on my shoulder, don't get too dozy
because i don't have time for this
sorry today you get no kiss
i have stuff to get done
im not the only one
i really hope you don't ask me for more time and be persuasive
because time i really cant give
They're taking it all away i cant rest now
How to get out of this?
i don't know how
This, no one will allow
They're taking my money
They're taking my time and energy
They have me all runny
separated from my honey
Im so unsure if i need you around or not
But then again i cant give up one of the best things I've got.
This issue
with it, just please go along
Because you are right and this is wrong.

Then and now with jesus

I begged i complained
My thoughts were insane
i had no hope, acting all sadly
this wasn't good, this wasn't me
I had no real friends so no comfort
one reason why it subvert
I felt like there was no love anywhere
No smiles, no hugs, no care
I felt unloved and hopeless
unable and depressed
where were my focuses?
where was my mind?
i was being hopeless
while someone was so kind
i may not of been triggered or reminded
But he was always there
and he was someone who cared
Someone who loved me
someone who viewed carefully
he was there through it all
but he wouldn't let me fall
He brings me a thrill
when i was feeling to kill
and needed a fill
Now
i had to do as i will
and praise his name
Make him a big part
and give him the fame
Before i was wrong
but now i am strong
He's more in my life
He is my life
and he provides me with life
i am no longer dim
Now i love me
and will always love him