This week

This week has been the toughest on me than any other this year. I've struggled, I was challenged, I was learning, I was repairing, I was hurting, I was a success!

The weight of college piled up on me like never before. I was taking school as serious as I've ever done in my whole life!.. so I'm not throwing this weight aside to anywhere. I've kept up
then fell,
then fell even more.
Last week I declared that I couldn't fall anymore.

It wasn't only the heaviness of school laid upon me but also personal struggles. Inside & out. Every time I sit down to take a rest, I know I really shouldn't because there is much more to be done but the tiredness in myself refused to even listen. Time didn't go easy on me either. Some other personal struggles simply pressed on as well. Is there a bright side to this story?... Try Nova!
I worked and worked, made mistakes & fixed them, constantly try to get back up before I slipped again. I summarized this Wednesday day as horrible, tough & just looked upon it negatively. While reflecting on my day...I heard something. It was more than a thought, but it was something I no where near had thought of!
It was so much along the lines of...
"YOU DID SUCCEED IN THE END."
It took a me a good second to figure out why the sudden positive short sentence? but I realized it was actually true. In my photography class that day I did leave ending up with the perfect picture. It was so hard because I've never worked with film, chemicals, pure darkness & prints.... ever! Not once! I was gonna call this quits. I was so caught up in my errors & imperfections that I forgot that I have succeeded. Strange isn't it?...
That was the middle
For the last days of this week
everything ended on a good note.Today I had presentation, & my topic captured most interest. Before I've asked God to step in, this was just a thing in history & just a presentation..which turned into an amazing discussion.
In art I drew in my sketch book, I expected major critics & for the professor to point out the many errors that I think I see!

Instead I got compliments?
I'm not trying to be modest but i was so shocked. He told me things like "Excellent, Great, You got it Exactly right!"
Never got that before!



I'm just so glad that I have a God who changes things. He will put the thing I want right into my hand, even when I don't deserve it. I felt like this has all started when I improved my prayer life. I see Him more...I see that He sees me.
I see that I can be a success.
Praying really does something. Just putting that quality & your own crying heart changes the direction in your life.
When you're suppose to be headed down God sees & can turn you facing up.
I know everyone has too much of a busy schedule to pray but it's not up to us to work God into our schedule but we gotta work our schedule around God!
My schedule was hectic this week,
every class assignment was unbearable,
every struggle tired its best to fight me
every fear tried to rise.
I've stepped in & out of prayer during it all & made it!
He answered me
told me that
I have succeeded.

Starstruck

Starstruck by the light of the world

Appears much brighter than a star

So intense & so great!

Even from a far

My soul responds uneasily

& my own self shoves me…

Because from a distant I see the beauty.

A look so beautiful than every attempt of the imagination.

No one can cause such fascination

Crowds of them step up trying to shine & become the next sensation…

This light shines brighter than the nation.

Why so starstruck by a light I don’t know ?

Or you think I don’t

Sometimes

It’s more compact than you see

The light is inside of me.

A light that’s for me

yet

couldn’t make things more

clearly!

&

more true.

It fits inside of you!

Guiding your every step

& showing your next move

Igniting the flair in you!

I've seen those who are bright but don't have the light

I've heard some sing but can't compare to those notes dancing...

within the light.

They who are gleaming

providing such magnificence!

Excellence!

Presence!

Skill so immense!

I'm starstruck

not even thinking above it

As the light still passes through

my view!

I'm Starstruck by the Light of the world & there is only one.

One!

Who shines His light on all.

Fallen

In my eyes I have failed
& in Yours I have only fallen...




With one peek at the overview of myself

I would have wanted to quit.

Every thought of it
every visit.

Reminiscing on the wrong
Do I still deserve to go on?

Thought it would of been better to shut it, drop it, or just to be gone!
I've done so much yet there's much more to be done here!

I would of thought my life would of stopped
& my mistake would cause my path to be blocked.

If I drew a sketch

& it appeared a mess

on the first few strokes...


away from me I would of threw
simply given up
& grab a new

Yet God?... Why are You still sketching?


Alive than ever
& living better

I never thought I'd get so far

I wouldn't of let myself
But He let me.
With things looking likely

My goals I never thought to see!

In my eyes I have failed
& in Yours I have only fallen

I thought it was best for it all to be over because I saw no chance to win

Just because I have fallen...

How Great

How great is our God,

How great is His love,

How great is His care,

How great was His pain.

Any other can sit comfortably on a throne watching the people

but this One so Great,Answers the cry of the broken

Felt & still feels more than triple our pain.

How great?

I can't say...

Enough

There is no such thing as enough.
No very thing in these handsI can give

No object
is enough& won't ever match up.

As You love so much,My love can't stretch as far.
As you hold the world & universe in Your handsI can't touch just one star.
Everything you have givenOverflows,
prospers
& will grow.
The things I hand
are less
even at my best
Trying to keep the river flowing...& the love
alive & going
It's important to build up our fractionthan do subtraction.
When I giveYou hand back much more
When I try to do my bestYou would hand back a success!

When I give nothing
You give me something
It's all good to be truebut open your eyes, hearts, minds to see what God can do.
Witness, understand, know,
Let every thought & doubt unwind
What a relationship so giving
yet
it's not all about giving to get
but it's to give & get closer with You!

Take a look

If you can only see what I see
you would understand me
& quit creating the imagery...


You can grasp every bit of wisdom you can find

from the outside

It's like nothing you will ever find
on the inside.

You don't see things the way I do
but I wish you did
or least take the look...

You would see that
Miracles aren't a once in a lifetime chance
Love can run you down & chase you
There is a reason in the gloom to dance
You've been free from it all in advanced (everything bad)

There is such thing as greater life

If something was to good to be true
Why not or never follow through?

You don't see it the way I do
but I wish you did

Your looks on me might be dazzled & blurry
but the day you can see
you would of wished you've hurried.

I can tell you straight up your missing out
Life is more than what you think it's about

Sure you let go & want to debate
but do receive at an immeasurable rate



If you can only see what I see
you would understand me

Call

Different moments
In a storm or not
In prayer
on my knees or not
I call on God.

Weather I call you out loud
or silently in a thought cloud
You hear me!

You answer me no matter what the problem may be
Every need, every injury
You see.

You come before I call!
You come before I even ask!

You provided favor in a way unsuspecting.
Favor so big!
Thought it was too great for me!

Especially in the times of failure
& remiss.
It's really all so great! but
I don't deserve this.

I asked many but they answer with guesses
I tried many but they have nothing to offer but silence
I called on many but for them hearing isn't much of a sense

When I call
My God answers
Not only with an explosion of Hope
Not only with his His help
But with the answer!

The answer to
Your call!

Where I belong

In such a happy place
A joyous scene in my eyes!
It's seems so very real
like its not a lie

As I begin to awake
& I open my eye
This display so real
feels like a steal

Sucked away & snatched from my grasp
Now i only see the greyness with no such glow

Where did it all go?

I desired to go
with that flow

I thought I was put here to be extraordinary!
not live in normality

I can't wait for the day my dream
becomes reality

when I get to that place
It will be way more than a taste

When I get there
I will no longer have a confused stare!

God will deliver me there!
If I had to take the steps
look around every day
besides heavens way

I would of given up
& remain in place I don't belong

Remember

While the storm is raining
Misery is pouring.
Thunder & crying both
Roaring!

Living in a moment of mourning

This mood,
so dreadful.
Wasn't it once incredible?

The strong winds of the storm
gusting faster than our tears falling
by the swarm

Why weep?
Where in your hand
were the miracles
You were suppose to keep?

Through the storm
We've forgotten all about the sunny day
Right now
our strength has no say.

We just have to
Remember!

Remember how past tears went away

Remember what God has done like it was yesterday

Remember how the big mess of our disasters
just ended up
OKAY!

It's like we've never seen a rainbow
We're not even searching as we go.

We don't have to drown in the flood of our tears.
Remember yesterday as the storm goes.

Every past miracle
meant something.
& still does

Take it into the storm
So You wouldn't be left with nothing.

Good things come but they do not go
Save it somewhere
you can Remember.
Don't treat it like ember
Never discard
The storm can hit hard.

The mood doesn't have to be grey
once you remember...

Go through the storm
knowing something more will happen
don't let the storm carry you away
from where you stand

Why do we get caught up
that we can't Remember?

lean not

Time to put yourself on top a rock
You will be fled by the flock...
Face to face with no-oneness
Feel You're trap in a world of nothingness...
It doesn't have to be...
We're not in any clutch

But probably just leaning too much...
It's best to stop leaning
because they will all let you hit the floor!

There will come a time when they won't love you anymore...

it's no hatred
but just a moment

no good reason
yet
only a season...

As harsh as it feels
It unravels
It reveals


I no longer want to be tampered with
but I'm here for real...


Your genuine drops of love is really a few

I'm gonna stop leaning on you!




"Lean on the everlasting arms, which only God has.
He's the real rock you must seek."

No Reason (Easter poem)

Rejoice!
There is no more of a reason to be separated!
For the cross has brought unity.
The feeling of hopelessness has no right!
It's wrong!
& stands no longer!
I'm caught up in the rhythms of grace
& I don't want to step out.
Celebrate!
Rejoice!
Shout!
Do not the opposite
Jesus has put an end to it!
sin is nothing more than a visit
It doesn't have to grow on
One day it will all be gone...

The way Jesus wants it

There's no point to feeling doomed
Jesus can wash that more than soon

His grace rains harder than our tears

Who's bigger?
your Hero or your fears?

There's no more a reason to feel unloved
Because he died for you
No excuse can escape the clutches of his love.

There's no more of a reason to fear the end
Because He has conquered the grave.

THERE'S NO WAY YOU CANNOT KNOW HIM
Because He's everywhere.

Jesus
He may of ascended to the sky
physically leaving you & I
but he will still be with us
until the end of time!

Who am I?

In this Universe
God has made
So enormous, So perfect
I'm simply just a spec
The Earth so immense
too immeasurable for our hands
We're just small creatures creeping on the lands
God All knowing
All powerful
& Holy
yet my constant friend?
Who am I?
That You would save & defend
I've failed you then...
might fail you tomorrow
I can just drown in a cold pool of sorrow...

but you won't let me.

Your love is a mystery
Because
Who am I
that You would come live in my shoes
See my point of view
throw me down a rope
to finally see & feel hope.
Who am I?
That you would take the pain
& pay the price that I've made
& simply release the chains.

You've made my life sustained.

We're so small
but mean a lot
Our own life battles you've fought
Today(Good Friday)
Our salvation you have bought!
You have given us things so special
Your Son as the most
Our lamb.
I still question who I am
God has never given up on us
Not during any nervous moment of being Jesus!
Everyone else has...

Who I am
is the reason
Why God will leave his throne
Because I am his own.

Holy Spirit

Power with such strength
bursting through the doors!
like a mighty rushing WIND!
Blowing in on the ones who had already sinned.
As gentle as a DOVE
He offers forgiveness
& his intense love
FIRE!
Burning with purity
Spreading around wildly
God gave Baptizism
with fire & the Spirit
Fire Falling everywhere in just one visit
WATER!
Flowing life into us
There is no life without him
Only with him
its a safe swim.
OIL
Provides us with the anointing
The main thing
We've been wanting



Five symbols of the Holy Spirit
Found in God's word
He rushed in
& Answered,

During the seeking & waiting of people in an upper room
Where He first came in.

His ways

His voice...
so soft
yet Important.
His Instruction...
so peaceful
so accurate.
Words...
So calm
& so strong
His ways are nothing to complain about.
Nothing to exactly explain about.
We can come so close
Say what we feel
yet we know
it's all so real.
The feeling he pours into us
is like nothing else.
Leaves us anxious..
The love put towards us
is so enormous!
The gifts he puts in us
shine so true in
clear total brightness
The faith he has in every being
is bigger than the faith that I'm feeling...
People still wonder why this love is...
Why the worship?
Why is it in him we depend???
Just for heaven???
When thinking all about his greatness
It is not in the center of my awareness
His love is all around now
& all around later
Fades away never
because it goes on forever.
His grace...
So amazing
so life saving
His Love
So gentle
yet intense
His ways
So understandable
yet mysterious....

My friend

for more than a season,

has taken my hand in the storm & we have risen.

Loved me before I knew I was me,

had answered my every call lately.

This all can't come from somebody.

Nope never....only from God, believe w.e

but I know a true friend when I see one!

Faithful Mystery

I don't know
how You do it.
But You just can.

I've never seen it coming;
nor have i found out the way
to clean it all up.

I can tell you're gonna do it
but I just don't know how!

A dream coming true?
looking so bleak right now!

How will I get from here to there?
How can I even get near?

I'll never understand,
but You just can.

Negative bird

Doubts arising &
fear surprising?
Sudden pain from random memorizing?
The urge to envy
The feeling to pout?
The urge to take down
comes & goes out
Then comes right back around?
Tell me
Are you dizzy from the fight?
Wanna just fly?
& stop being a kite?
I sense crystal tears
But I don't wanna see em.
Hear negative thoughts
but just don't wanna do em.
Like being stuck in a cage.
Free is what to talk about.
Like being stuck in a cage
There's always a way out.
In this case here
The key is Prayer.
Doesn't sound like the way you would of fought
But every prayer
conquers 10 thousand negative thoughts!
Prayer in faith
Prayer from the heart.
Removes the stress which stayed from the start.
It's Very simple
much too much
but packs one powerful punch!
Outta the cage
ready to fly.
No more doubt
You've just broken out.
Clarity,
Freedom,
Peace finally
I can't just taste freedom
but can have it too.
I'm tired of negative beating down
When I can just beat it up.
Send it away & have my way
& Your way.
& God's way
This key is the way.
The way out of negativity
Just pray to be let out :)

God Friend

He treasures me like no other
He loves me more than a brother.


Answers if I just ask!
He's no mystery
behind a mask;
His love is, though

Because i don't deserve it
Every thing i've done
Forgiven is every little bit of it.
Face to face he won't see it

I have no excuse to quit!
No reason to just visit
When i should just really stay.
Leaving is foolish
It's so wrong.

God is so sweet!
it's a sin to be mean!
Too too nice
Why hurt such a sweety
Don't you know that you hurt him
sadly.

Make Jesus the main focus (He's also the son)
The center of your life
He removes pain & strife.
Our God has changed lives.
From the power that worketh in you
Just open your mouth & ask.

When I see myself as nothing
He sees something
When I'm thinking I'm worthless
He's thinking
Beautiful
Blessed
& a plan for me.
It's something planned so lovely
exactly
what i would love.

As gentle as a dove.
His spirit comforts. ( Also a spirit)
Even when problems are in a pile
God sends an angel to make you smile.
He has you!
He loves you!
He fights for you
He wants the best!
He prefers to bless!
rather than to remove his hand.

He prefers to stay!
When you say go away. (Wanting a life without God)

Being stubborn is your lost!
someone important you've mistreated & tossed!
He's harmless
He's perfect
He protects

My friend
My Love.
My Hero
My Rock
My Everything
My God! <3

Your main focus

His eyes locked on her
Her eyes
locked on that hypnotic swirl.

Those people
love this thing. (any type of thing, random)
Other people
are following.

If it built you up
broke you down
you'd still love it?
even though it gives a good hit

What's really the big deal here?
Why is it the center of your life?
Why,
it doesn't give life!
but takes yours!?

Does it protect?
Does it

Think about it
If it destroys you
Fast or slow
Why have it?
Why even look
Why visit?

This is the time
when you shouldn't be clowning
To this time
this world
i am relating.

Time is flying faster than ever
Playing around is not so clever...
The Light of the world
being preached all about!
Heading towards this world with a
Big
Loud
SHOUT!
Trust me
now is not the time to
hate & pout.

You focus on this & focus on that
but try to focus on something
that isn't your brat.
Forget those things that pulls off your hair
Forget about those past things you've ever dared.
Clean yourself out
Pick yourself up
& Start focusing
Focus on the things that really matter.
Focus on the life you're living.
Gotta start moving
Start improving
Giving up escapes
maybe soothes for a minuet
but
you'd regret you'd ever done it!

Time to stop screaming for help.
let go of your yelp
The dudes on Tv won't help you
They're drowning in their own brew.
Friends can place you
but not keep you in the center.
They can't pamper you, fix you & remain your mentor
Friends close to me has left & slammed me down before

Focus on what helps
Focus on what loves
Focus on what wants you & always would want you.

I focus on God
I focus on me
I focus on helping
Whatever doesn't destroy me
I will remain going on strong.

Take off the locks
Awake from that spell.
Stop following
Start focusing.

The choice is hers

You've been taken for dozens ...
of rides.
Your love,
You refuse to hide.
You want to be treasured,
Have your goodness measured.
I know you demand respect
& I know love
is what you expect.
but...
You need to take charge of YOUR life!
Instead you would just hand it to someone
to take it for a ride.
Spin you around, wear you out
stretch you here, toss you about
until your dizzy & worn out
Can't even shout. (help)
Eventually you both drive right into the tides...
& later you just want to hide.
You gotta know that
you are somebody
A somebody
& no one's puppet.
No one's second choice!
You do have a voice
don't always shut it.
Don't you follow what's wrong!
Don't be weak when you are strong!
Wake up!
& look around
Keep your head at the sky!
so you would never have to look down
Don't go through the stress
& the flames all for a guy.
No matter where you are
You do have the chance to try.
Stand still.
Wait for real love.
Love is your friend!
not a desperate hot guy.
Love is comfort
not pressure
nor torture.
Love is for you!
not for harm
or physical charms.
Love is for the soul!
That's your goal!
Take who would love you as a whole!
Not a piece.
Stop taking
within the limited area
Start taking charge!
As you wait
options get large!
Drive your life.
No one should take the wheel
not yet for keeps
not for steals.
You're life isn't over
It's not the end.
God gives you back everything
that's been stolen.
Take charge
Kick out the thief!
Pass the next & the next.
Mark it for good with an ex.
In this life
You have a choice!
If someone took it away
Get it back!
& drive away
Have a say!

The flashing of the lights ease the tensions
the movements of the feet calms the stress.
Vibrations from the speakers blocks the world.
Everything is fine
though it's a mess?

Dance to the noise
which they call music.
Girls kiss the boys
as they put down the toys.
Buy out all you can wear!
Show off, look good
& never share?
Party,
get wasted
Real happiness
you think you've tasted?


They call this music
But i don't hear harmony.
they call his party
but theres nothing hearty.
They wanna get wasted
but I wanna be used! (helpful)
They call this love
but it's just not lastin.

Why disagree
When the news spread rapidly?
Why slap the help
when you can't bare the pain
Why refuse Jesus when his word
is happening.

This world is crumbling
but i refuse to go down with it
Teens getting lazy
but i just won't sit.

TBC....