Testimony Blog

God has showed me wonderful things.
Things that could not of been received unless i asked him. He reached for things that i can't seem to stretch up to get. First i want to mention I couldn't of graduate out of high school without my God. I deserve to be one of those people who get held back & miss credits normally, i was bad at test & failed most of my regents...i failed some twice, how the heck did i get out of high school? I had a global regents, i took it 4 times, i have to admit the 1rst three times i didn't seek God enough to really show him i wanted to pass, or even showed that i cared. That last time i felt scared knowing that i had only one chance to pass the exam. The exam that i have failed & had been too difficult for me. I clinged on to God like a small child on her parent's calve begging them not to leave me with the babysitter. I could of just prayed & know it would be okay but i did little studying too, because i had to show that i want to pass, sometimes it's like holy spirit studies with you...I took that regents, aced it with a score slightly over the passing & praised God knowing that i can finally graduate. When i saw that lowish but passing score, i realized that I could of failed that exam, but this time some mercy helped me slide a couple more points over...The mercy of a wonderful God. I can trust him.
I don't know how this happens but the people that you are perfectly comfortable with...They stab you...hard! All of a sudden they're making assumptions about you. A close person making assumptions? It's ridiculous because they already know you, & they look at you wrong when they have always known you were right. Right enough to be their friend. All of a sudden this nice person feeds you insults, & trash talks you like no tomorrow. I'm wondering, did i really do all of this?...i blamed my self, i beat my self up, i had tears, constant thoughts, emptiness... This was a sad dumb situation prepared by chef Devil, but it woke me up...That God is the true friend i should seek & not this or that person. I cried unto God like i was sinking in my tears, I cried on to God as if i was going to drown in it.. Friendship is something that i love to build & knowing that i totally screwed one up shattered me. Holy spirit ran to my rescue & was with me the whole time. He comfort me when i sleep, He races back when my running thoughts come at me again. He help me get through it all...Now i don't care about the person & I'm even closer to God than i ever was . He's with me when I'm upset & he comforts me when I'm down. He offered me friendship when i lost one. The presence of God is the best & there is no other person you can be friends with that will ever do what he did. Stay by your side all day & remains determine to help. It's like he raced for me, picked me up & ran away with me from the wicked.
He helped me save my friend, He blessed me with a job opportunity, He taught me, He guides me, He protects me, He loves me, He fixes all problems etc etc =]
I believed him
& i still believe that he will take me to better places than before.

I know

The world around me crumbles.
As the family around me stumbles.
I have a fear
& possible worry...
An unsure possibility that is somewhat blurry.
After times of escapes & scurry
I realize that there is just no way...
No reason.
No hurry.
Even though my tower,
smoked into fire
after it fell to bits
I just threw away my new blue prints
as it crashes.
I pile up my ashes...
Cup them in my hands
Smile & stand
With a strong assurance
Saying the strange line
That I'm going to be fine.
What happened to my cryin?
The part when my hopes start dyin?
Gonna happen?
Not soon anyday!
Because i don't just think so
But i know.
People fail me too easily
I have this hard trip to make on my own
I don't achieve high enough
When life is just pure rough.
I have a feeling I'm going fail
But it's just fine.
I have people who only like to pick my flaws
But I have no reason to put my life on pause...
There are problems & disturbance
feelings of depression & betrayal
constantly being taught
that I'm unable!
They float
spherically
like a solar system
orbiting away.
Wanting my hope to decay...
But I seriously know
Everything's still okay!
Even though there are times when i have nothing,
I'm still going to be living.
Because when things are just okay,
they will surely get better.
As i build up my tower again
Someday it will turn into a castle
appearing before my eyes,
touching the skies,
& will be indestructible by crap & lies
It's for me
& its more than fine!
& I knew it the whole time!

You

Did you know you are a master piece?
Are you aware of you're capability?
You do know you're special at least??
I know you just sit & walk on the lands
but did you know of
the power in your hands?
You're gifted by a true power.
You are & will bloom into a beautiful flower!
Made into perfection
in the eyes on the one.
Who made the selection.
A mighty father who watches
happily with affection.
His creation(you)
A functional beauty
with a purpose of positivity...
Something so lively
Sweet
So priceless
So free.
You're different, special, & originally you,
while I'm me
You can't comprehend this value!
Can you?
You have a mind
a soul
a voice
a goal
a hand
a choice.
A right to understand.
That you are somebody
You are something beautiful.
if you've done ugly
You can break it down & rebuild!
It's impossible for you to be born unskilled.
We all have a knack
What do you lack?
We are all somebody
with some incredible ability.
Don't ever lean onto the thought that you're a nothing...
You mean something
Let God define you.
You can do something too
Find out yourself what it is
use it for good
& shine like a star
Find out how special you are.

issues

Go away!
or just let me go
Why me for?
I don't want anymore!
This world desires defeat in me,
you,
everyone,
everything we do.
This world offers disappointment
argument
False judgment.
What here is ever true?
I will not live in defeat
neither will i disobey.
Hero one day
Villain strange other way
Praising a hero in disguise,
Giving such pleasure & compromise.
Thinking the trust never dies...
Oh what lies!
Trying to escape the tidal wave
but it sucks you back in.
Forcing you to be doomed
force like a vacuum
You may have a piece
But you can never have my all!
I may have stumbled
sometimes fall.
I refuse to move with your squall!
I have to deal with you!
but don't make a deal with me
I won't take it or accept.
Hit me again & you will miss!
I think twice,
not be terribly remiss!
One target & game you will loose
I can stop & leave your issues.

Gotta go

Read, write, work, cry
Sell, use, take, lie
Frown, tears, pain, gloomy
All this stuff
it just isn't me.
Can't leave it behind
it follows obediently
I gotta go
now
escape somehow!
get away
It'll be just okay.
Wonderful! to be precise!
Feasting my life on pure paradise!
I need just enough
to forget how tough...
I need to go
to taste great & know...
I want to drift away
This wish i often convey...
i will go one day
I gotta go some way
how?
As i make this investigation
i will soon reach my destination
now, i slowly crawl out of this here nation....


To be continued......

Get there

You have to go there
That desire in your distant stare.
Your heart wants it
Your eyes are lit!
Feels like it could be easy
You might need effort barely.
As God works & change up the tracks.
You're heading somewhere you can never imagine.
Don't even know how to react
I imagined a rock but
I'm now in the mud
I climbed a cliff but I'm gonna fall in the flood.
How so?
Why so?
Why did i go?
Why am i so low
& sore.
Do i even want this anymore?
Because of this tricky track
realized what i lacked.
I wasn't ready for this
not until i get rid of the weak points & remissness.
If i got there I really would of missed.
I could not show up there looking like so.
Now rather than a train
I'm more of an aero.
It was better than before...
intervention was needed
I'm glad i proceeded.
I finally got here.
You can't become strong without falling.
You can't walk without crawling.
It may sting sometimes but you learn
The horrible taste of stern
It's fair.
It helps you when you need to get there
It increases right
You can stop climbing
& take flight!